How To: Steps to take when the lava overflows in your hometown

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Mister Writer

Lava Proof

RUN AWAY FROM THE LAVA

If lava was an animal it would be a raging porpoise.

The title sums it up from the point of view death has to offer. First the lava will seep in and then it will rear up, kicking ass like we all know lava does. Some people have said things like, “what all is there to say about lava”. A lot. There is a lot to say about lava. We are going to prove this by informing the world of how to prepare one’s very own hometown from a lava flow.

Find Active Volcanoes in your Area

Don’t have one? The closest one will do. Any volcano. Once you have picked the volcano that is most threatening to the region of choice, then assess maximum damage. We mean max. To the windows, to the wall. Don’t assume the lava flow is 6 feet tall, assume maybe 60 feet.

LavaBuild Lava Proof Huts or Yurts

These are even great in non-lava emergencies. Potentially, a fun place to host after school activities.

Construct Tungsten Levees

Modern towns really are not complete without these anyways. Nothing shows off industrial strength or might than thousands of lbs of tungsten designed in draconian fashion. When lava disasters hit, they can wipe out entire civilizations such as Pompeii, a tragic example.  There one minute, gone the next. Don’t be a statistic. Costs are up there but these levees are better than insurance in the sense that they ensure no lava is getting through your town.

Lava Proof Suits

Everyone has to have one. The levee isn’t the worst a volcano has to offer. The hot ash will certainly pan sear a chicken, it makes sense that it will do the same to humans. Having a lava proof suit in a lava proof city can be enforced through a series of petty but effective ordinances.

In a post lava society, things will be very difficult. Of course all other life will be decimated but the good news is that levee will not. Lava is tough stuff. Stay informed and don’t let the lava get one over on humanity. That’s right. Prepare now!

Please post below if you have any questions or are interested in ordering a kit to lava-proof your town.




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